regents park

i used to sit on a bench, waiting for you

watching the blue cranes picking up their feet

watching the grass grow from the foreign soil

that was my home

i used to listen to the footsteps of the people

i used to listen to the footsteps of the sun

walking slowly across the sky

i miss walking with you there

i used to feel my stomach clench like a fist

when i saw you walking towards me

growing like moss

giving me my bearings

like ivy our arms entwined

we used to walk past the queen anne's lace

past the knotted trees

like old fingers sprouting from a green sea

i used to walk past me

until the first day you came

and we walked together

breath on piano -- gabriel orozco

i'm sitting at marthes's piano, my fingers gliding across the new keys.  new pianos are like new shoes -- you have to break them in, get them dirty.  my hands slip and stumble like some kid who's never ice skated before and i let the room know i am very drunk.  they already know, i know.

i play this version of "rain song" by led zeppelin that i rewrote just for piano and this hipster in the room says, "i know this!  this is french" and she sounds like an idiot but i don't say anything.  i pour my breath into the keys, i pour myself into the body -- my fingers mirror the hammers on the inside, i know.  i am leaving my mark, a stain, a fleeting part of myself; and that is all that matters

at an indie rock bar in paris valentine's day weekend

2/15/11

i pulled away from the tall guy

i have to go, i said

why? he asked

but i think he understood

i pulled away from the guy who was singing at the bar

and i said, your words are proud but they're empty

you speak a language you're sure only you understand

and you don't try to understand anyone else

and then he pushed me away

he didn't get what i was saying

i pulled away from a french guy

i don't speak french, i said

anglais, anglais, oui anglais

hablas español?  si!

quieres bailar?  ok!

mis padres son de españa

no, no, no bailes así, te estás pisando los pies a mí.

pero estoy emborrachada!

no me importa -- sígueme, sígueme.

mejor.  a los pies les voy a enseñar a hablar.  si?  ok.

i pulled away from the business man

i said something he didn't understand

i wish i knew more english, he said

i said i'm the one who's in paris

he gave me his business card

call me please tomorrow, he said

the next day i found it in my bed

i threw it all away