Wednesday, December 30, 2009

algernon's bouquet

some instances
deserve no words
and some words
deserve no instance
can you not see
in front of you
behind you
and ahead?

i wish i could go back
to the times where i was
at my most beautiful

i wish
you could have seen me
at my most beautiful

or was it only
you didn't want me
at my most beautiful

most of the time
i think, i should stop thinking about it
but then i remember
in order to tell myself
to stop thinking
i must have thought it in the first place

i realize
without having to realize it
my only desire
was to keep you
at your most beautiful.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

chanson

a silent stage; a dusty beam of light
you're sitting wide-eyed and afraid
i'm in the wings -- i see your tears
i come and join you from the dark

listen to our rosined hearts
beating together; beating apart
it's strange how things grow strong and fade again

you see through me like a plate of glass
you see my eyes
and how i see
see how i can't see through myself

quietly you hear the rain
slurping through an earthy drain
into the roots of our being

you rise and face the blackened room
the expectant audience in their womb
you see the outline of their faces
you see inside
you see yourself
you get up and you start to talk

"please listen to what i say
although it may all seem cliché
it's just a couple of suggestions

i've seen your ways
your ways like mine
it's hard to wander through the dark

just try to find your way around
and get up if you've fallen down
i know it's harder than it sounds like

you have to find
truth for yourself
you can't put your hands on others' backs

and you may never find a light
but without the search, all you've done in life
is sit confounded in a dark room

without a face
without a name
no one can see you properly

but if you live to see your dawning
before you think the chance is gone, you'll
see your face and what it looks like

and who you were
and who you'll be
you'll be fulfilled when you see yourself"

when you finish, look around and see
the people next to you and me
the auditorium's almost empty
a thousand lights
a thousand men
they look around and through skin

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

the coffee felt good on a hangover

the coffee felt good on a hangover
the waves pounded silently on the shore
and the frost congealed on the café window

the coffee was too hot for the cold day
my dry red fingers laced around the paper cup
your pulled the string on your tea bag

the coffee burned the feeling out of my tongue
you looked at me and your eyes were red

the coffee grew cold.
"slow day for a saturday."
i nodded, it was a slow day for a saturday
my heart pounded silently in my chest
and the earth began to tilt

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

very last day.

god gave me perfect weather
on my very last day

the clouds spread like gray frosting and i feel free
in the cool mist's embrace.

the grass is slick and green
and cold on my skin
as i walk slowly through
the ghosts of memories

there is the swing on the cable
i would slide across the yard
back and forth, back and forth

there is the tree that i would climb
and sit and draw the leaves and bark
the spiders and the ants

there is the row of apple trees
they blossom, flower, ripen; bear
my family and i would step up to the plate
in the autumn and swing at fallen fruit

i'm next in the batting order
i can let the apple drop, or hit it hard
into the sky, and feel the excitement
as i pass each base
and end up home.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

God save the catholics.


if jesus calls me second-best
if i was made from man
if i must keep my sermons silent
i suppose i was made what i am
if tradition is the law
woman is one short of seven
if good god tells me i am flawed
i don’t want to go to heaven 
if married men are too impure to teach
if wives are just possessions
well you cannot covet me because i am 
made 
an animal 
free from oppression
if woman is not man
and man should have only woman
if god can’t love what he created
then i don’t want to go to heaven
these ancient laws are dusty
the church is not a court
if i do go to heaven
dear God,
She’ll stand in my support.

tree.

outside my window stands a tree
his ancient posture incomplete
his green leaves whisper in the breeze
he rents his arms to birds and bees

i've known this tree since i was small
i clamored through his hollowed halls
i flew his helicopters on
the strong support of summer squall

this tree has braved both storm and snow
he blossoms back from seasons’ woe
and when i have nowhere to go
i thank his limbs for my repose

he'll never fight or disagree
if i lay sleeping at his feet
he'll never live to see the sea
but there's no doubt he'll outlive me

tell me how you really feel.



 close your mouth
keep your ears open
sing silent words
tell me how you really feel
take the hands off your eyes
take the hands off your heart
look at the world around you
tell me how you really feel
my sister, my brother
i am you; we are each other
i love you very deeply; never-ending
so tell me how you really feel
walk through a fog
release your soul
find the sun with your heart
and tell me how you really feel
you seem so nervous
you seem so angry
i understand you
tell me how you really feel
it’s all because of
the hands on your eyes
the hands on your heart
tell me how you really feel